#62: Expanding Your Money and Business with the Pleasure Edge in Your Nervous System

In today’s episode, I’m discussing how the pleasure edge in your nervous system holds the power to expand your money and business. In this episode, I share why you need to increase your nervous system’s capacity to hold more. I talk about pleasure in regulating and expanding your nervous system, why the pleasure edge is so important in allowing you to align with your business fully, and the full spectrum of pleasure practices you need to allow yourself to indulge in. I also discuss the desire edge and how that allows us to become more expressed versions of ourselves.

At the end of the day, our desire edges and pleasure edges are similar, and by indulging and fulfilling them, we can dare to be the most actualized version of ourselves.

We dive into:

Why you need to increase your nervous system’s capacity to hold more
Why the pleasure edge is so important in allowing you to fully align with your business
The full spectrum of pleasure practices
What is the desire edge and how does it allow us to become a more expressed version of ourselves
The pleasure edge versus the desire edge
Who do you dare to be in this world?
Why your pleasure edge is an invitation for you to calibrate your nervous system

Hello beautiful beings of light. And welcome back to the soma sense podcast. In today's episode, we are going to be talking about one of the core pillars, that is so important for you to step into, as you are looking at expanding your receiving paradigm with money. And as you are stepping into shifting and reprogramming the way that you do in your business, the way that you launch and your business, the way that you take action in your business. And this core pillar is something I interweave into all of my programs. And this is something that I really utilize on a regular basis, to support my nervous system to increase its capacity to hold more, right. And increasing our nervous system capacity is one of the most important things that you can do for your business growth and for yourself, right, because ultimately, if we want to hold more money if we want to hold more clients, right, if we want to hold, you know, more goodness in our life, and in our business, it's so important for us to increase our nervous system capacity, because we all have a nervous system, upper limit, with the capacity that we have to hold something.
One of the core places that I see, specifically women entrepreneurs struggling with is our nervous system capacity to hold, you know, the goodness of what is available to us. When we step into more ease, pleasure and peace is something we actually have a fairly low nervous system upper limit for, right, we actually have a very low capacity for it. And so what I find to be true when I'm working with women in particular, as it relates to healing the receiving wound with money as it relates to really shifting their business to feel more easeful peaceful and pleasurable, is that there is a lot of fear and constriction and actually letting business and money feel good. Right? Most of us are very accustomed to, you know, sitting in the struggle of something sitting in the heart of something. Because we've been programmed to make money that way, we've been programmed to run our businesses that way. So even though consciously we want to thrive, we want it to feel more easeful, peaceful and good. We have a very real nervous system upper limit with it, because our nervous system simply hasn't been trained, to feel safe with more pleasure, ease and peace.
So this core pillar that we're going to be talking about, is so important in allowing ourselves to increase our nervous system capacity to let it feel good, to let it be more useful and peaceful. And when we truly align with that, when we align with the wisdom of the body, and where that like goodness is taking us, that's when our launching becomes more effortless, right? That's when our business starts to really truly be in full resonance with us with the essence of who we are and what the essence of what we're creating in the world. Right. So this is such a core component of allowing your business to fully align with you, and allowing your business to hold you to allow you to thrive in the ways that you truly desire. And this core pillar that we're going to talk about today is called the pleasure edge. And the pleasure edge is something I work with on a regular basis. And it is the aspect of nervous system work that really supports the nervous system to expand your capacity to hold more goodness. And it expands your receiving paradigm with money. In addition, the more that we step into our pleasure edges, the more that we actually shift the conditioning around how we launch and how we do in our business. So we're going to talk about exactly what the pleasure edge is and how you can start to tune into it.
But one of the things that I really want to talk about first before we even dive into that is the importance of pleasure in general and its role in supporting the nervous system to regulate and supporting the nervous system to expand. Now, in the world of the nervous system, you know, if you follow a lot of different people who teach about the nervous system, what we talk about a lot is nervous system regulation. And nervous system regulation is so important for leadership for business for everything, right? When we are regulated, we are present in our body in this moment. And we are able to access the true essence of ourselves and communicate it really efficiently, directly and clearly out into the world. And so we always want to be practicing nervous system regulation. And so that is 100%. A part of my work with folks is that we're supporting your nervous system to be regulated for longer and longer periods of time. And really, the goal of any type of nervous system work is to help you increase flexibility in the nervous system so that you're able to easily go from dysregulated states of being back into regulated states of being, because the goal is not to be 100% regulated all the time, but to be flexible in your nervous system, right. And when we talk about nervous system regulation, what we most commonly talk about is feelings of calmness, peace and relaxation and rest.
In our minds, we typically associate regulation with those states of being. And of course, we, we want to invite more of that in, we want to increase our capacity to rest and relax more and more, because we do tend to be, you know, conditioned into this go go go kind of burnout culture of, you know, fight or flight response in our system. But one of the things we don't talk about that we don't cultivate, when it comes to nervous system regulation, is the experiences of excitement, joy, pleasure, right? Because all of those states of being our expansive states and our nervous system that are very regulated, and they are necessary for the kind of thriving that we want to experience in life, the kind of thriving that we want to experience in our business. And we rarely talk about those, right. And, you know, the things that we experience excitement around the joy that we want to have in our life, the pleasure that we want to experience, right? Those are states of being that our nervous system sometimes has a really hard time in holding, because it can feel unfamiliar, because we've kind of learned to be on extremes of our nervous system, either in this like highly activated state that's very unhealthy. That's like this fight flight or freeze mode, right? Or we've kind of learned to just be in the discomfort of the struggle in the heart, because that's how we've been conditioned around money and business.
And so that's so much of what we're used to. So even though we consciously desire it, you know, those expansive states of being can be very hard to hold because our nervous system is unfamiliar with holding them for longer periods of time, right and sustaining them for longer periods of time. So when we talk about nervous system regulation, one of the most important pieces that we can really tap into our pleasure practices. And when I talk about pleasure practices, I'm talking about the full spectrum of what it means for you to experience pleasure. The first association we tend to have with pleasure is sex, right? And that is definitely you know, one of the ways that you can experience pleasure that I highly encourage and that is 100%.
One of the ways that you can increase your capacity for more pleasure. But when I talk about, you know, pleasure in terms of nervous system, both regulation and expansion, what I'm really referring to is deepening into our five senses, right? And allowing ourselves to have sensual connection. Right and sensual and sexual can be two different things. And they also ideally would coexist with each other, right? But sensual connection, when you really think about it is all of the five senses engaged. I am feeling this I am receiving beingness I am enjoying this, right, I am opening myself up to being here in the present moment, and letting it feel good. And so pleasure practices from that perspective can really be a spectrum of so many different things that includes sex, that includes self pleasure, orgasm, right? That also includes sipping tea by the fire and allowing yourself to really feel the deliciousness of that moment, taking a long hot bath, as you read a book, right, going on a hike in nature with your partner and holding hands, and enjoying the sights and really taking in nature. Right, it can mean, you know, sitting down and you know, painting something, or reading a book. That's a pleasure practice or eating chocolate or lighting a candle and having a ritual, right, all of these things are different expressions of pleasure practices.
And the reality is, there are none of us are very few of us, that are engaging in pleasure practices on a regular basis, we tend to put pleasure, last write, and pleasure tends to be the thing that, you know, we feel like we can only receive when we've done something to earn it, right, when we've achieved this huge milestone in our business, or when we've quote unquote, worked really hard. Or, you know, it's kind of treated as a reward, like, Oh, can I can I actually give this to myself. And when we look at, you know, even the roots of women's relationship with pleasure, and how pleasure and women are treated in society, it's a very taboo subject, right? Pleasure is something that is forbidden on so many different levels. And we could do an entire history lesson on that alone. But historically, pleasure has been forbidden, especially for women, right. And there's a lot of guilt and shame that comes with pleasure.
So a lot of the times, one of the things that I see, inside of some of the somatic healing sessions that I do with women is this huge connection between money and sexuality, right? Money and pleasure. And the ways that shame and guilt, money and pleasure are interleaved with each other, because of the social and cultural stories that have been inherited by women. Right? What they've been told how their sexuality has been treated, how their bodies have been treated in society. Right. And so there's so much shame and guilt around pleasure in and of itself, around letting something feel good. And it is the thing that we always put last. And this is embedded in how we work. This is embedded in, you know, our money stuff, this is embedded in how we live our life, right. And so pleasure practices are such an important piece for you to integrate into, not only your nervous system regulation, right, but also into supporting you to expand your nervous system and expand your receiving paradigm with money. And, you know, we're really going to talk about a little bit about like, our pleasure edges.
But one of the things that I want to also draw into the conversation here is that us identifying our pleasure edges has to do with us owning our desires. And so one of the things that I talk about sometimes interchangeably, but they're so interrelated is the desire edge and the pleasure edge. And when we think about our desires, you know, one of the things that I think about is the the forbidden things that, you know, we've always wanted to do, the forbidden things that we've always wanted to buy ourselves or give to ourselves or experiences that we wanted to have, that we have kind of stuffed underneath the surface. Because it's not time yet or I'm not good enough for this or I could never have this or whatever the story is.
And one of my favorite kinds of work is desire based work because when we can identify our desires, we can identify the pleasure edges that we're meant to step into in our nervous system. Your desires, like your desire to find a partner, your desire to have a really intimate and profound sexual experience with your partner, you know, your desire to, you know, get away and go on an island and really immerse all of your five senses. And, you know, spend the day just lying down in your hammock and enjoying, you know, a glass of wine in the pool, whatever it is the desires that we have to buy a huge house to, you know, write a book to speak on stage, whatever kind of desire that we have. It's a communication that comes from the Divine, right, our desires are holy. And I like to think of our desires, as you know, our highest self communicating the most expansive receiving timeline to us, right, they are like little bread crumbs that are laid on our pathway.
As we claim each desire that we have, we open up to a more expressed version of ourselves, the desires that I've allowed myself to claim up until this point in my life, I could never have imagined even voicing them out loud, several years ago, right, I wouldn't have even dared to have claimed, all that I truly desired that I now have, because I was too afraid that I would never be able to get it that I would never be able to receive it. I was too afraid of, you know, people judging me for what I truly desired for the amount of money that I wanted to make for the kinds of things I wanted to buy for the kind of life that I wanted to have. Right? I was too afraid of what other people would think about me, and what that would mean about me if I claimed to them as if I was somehow bad or shameful, or that I should feel guilty, right. And so the desires that are, you know, sometimes even buried so deep, that you're not even consciously accessing them in this moment, are there to be unearthed and claimed, and really taken action on.
One of the huge components that comes through the nervous system expansion work that we do is an earthing these desires, because they are the bread crumbs that literally create your individual pathway to the highest level of expansion in your life in your business. And when you claim those desires, right, when you claim those divine desires that have been dropped into you, you are also able to then tap into how can I engage the desires that I have into some of the pleasure practices that I enter weave, some of the ways that I truly honor myself through the actual experience and action of those desires. Right to me, pleasure is our desires in action. Yeah. And so desire edges and pleasure edges are, you know, very intricately interrelated with each other.
Because the desire kind of gives you the intention, and the aim and the goal. And this is what I'm here to claim. And the pleasure is the experience of that desire. Right? The pleasure is I am cleaning this and I'm letting myself experience it and give it to myself now, letting it really soak in into how good it can feel. Right, and that combination is so much of what expands your nervous system. So on a very foundational level, one of the things that I want to invite you into is just writing a list of pleasure based experiences that cause an opening in your body. When you think about it, you feel an opening an expansion in your Soma. And the pleasure list that you create can be a mixture of big and small things, right? I think of the pleasure list as like pleasurable things that I can integrate into my every day that doesn't require you know, me booking a separate trip or doing you know, something, you know, really elaborate, but it's pleasure based activities that I can engage in on a daily basis, whether it's self pleasure practices, whether it's like rubbing oil on my skin, or whether it's like drinking hot tea early in the morning and having a ritual, what are all of the ways that you can really engage all of your five senses and experience pleasure in your day to day and writing a really expansive list and rating them in terms of, you know, this is something that feels really accessible to me that feels really safe to me, it's already something that I practice.
And maybe this is a pleasure activity that feels just a little bit edgy to me, like, Do I dare even do this? Am I the kind of person that does this on a regular basis, like one example can be like getting a massage on a weekly basis? As a pleasure practice, right? Getting your nails done every two or three weeks with whatever frequency? How can I allow that pleasurable experience of you know, someone pampering me into my life, and that can be a pleasure edge for someone, right? And so there's a list of like, pleasure based activities that you can easily do on a daily basis that are super accessible to you right now. And then there's other pleasure based activities that maybe you're tuning into, that you can do on a daily basis, or like a monthly or BI monthly basis, but that maybe, perhaps, perhaps feel a little bit like, Oh, can I really afford this? Is this allowed? Am I able to indulge this much? Right? Am I able to really have this much in my day to day am I able to really receive this much in my day to day?
And those are activities that feel more like a pleasure edge like, this is something I almost don't feel like I should have, like someone's gonna come in and say, This is too much, you are too much you are asking for too much you are indulging in too much, right, and writing a list that has those kinds of pleasure practices and experiences that you can engage in on a regular basis. And then I also have a list of like, pleasure experiences, desire edges that I want to step into. So you know, this can be a lot of things. It doesn't have to be only material things that can be experiences. But you know, for instance, a really good example, is like, purchasing a designer bag, for instance, can be a desire edge. And when you actually purchase the bag, the experience of you having that bag, the five senses that you tap into, as you wear that bag, right and have it that can be an extremely expansive experience in your nervous system. And so that might be something that goes on more of like, these are experiences, these are things that I want to buy myself things that I want to experience, things that I want to do, that feel a little bit bigger, that aren't necessarily something that I integrate into my day to day, except for maybe wearing a designer bag, but that, you know, I can like let myself have, and really choose ones that will activate my nervous system on that right desire and pleasure edge, and help me to really receive at a different kind of level.
And so letting yourself come up with those lists and letting yourself rate. These are pleasure practices that feel safe. These are pleasure practices that feel like how dare I, this feels somewhat forbidden for some reason. And these are pleasure practices that I can invite in at certain moments that are going to activate my nervous system, at this really beautiful level, put me on this like kind of pleasure edge that expands my capacity even more, right. And so the pleasure practices that you engage in on a daily basis, right on a weekly basis on a monthly basis. Those are things that support your regulation. Those are things that help you to hold more, that help you to show up inside of your business in really regulated and beautiful ways and really luscious ways.
And those are the things that actually are really important to do when you are launching when you are doing in your business, sometimes when we are actually most times when we are in a launch we have actually been super trained to push and be in a very high adrenaline response during the launch. We're trained to just kind of go right, push it out, do all of the things have a huge push in the nervous system without actually attuning to what's going on in our bodies and attuning to how we are holding ourselves is in our launch. And it's very common for entrepreneurs to be super dysregulated in launches, whether it's because of all of the mindset pieces that are coming up, or is anyone going to sign up, I'm scared about and fearful about money, right? A lot, a lot, a lot of the leadership pieces that can come up inside of a launch can really dysregulate and then can step us into dysregulated action and dysregulated launching, which then burns our nervous system out. So it's so important to learn how to enter we've really resonant action with really attuned nervous system based practices that not only regulate in terms of like peace and ease and relaxation, but also actually regulate in terms of the pleasure component.
Because the pleasure component heals so much in our nervous system without us having to dig into the healing and going so deep, I cannot describe to you the amount of times that people have worked through some serious contractions in their body, some huge contractions in their launches, through letting themselves really attuned to pleasure. And so that's one component of the work. And the other piece where we're really tapping into our pleasure edges, like the spaces that feel forbidden the things that we feel like we can't have or shouldn't have, or that we feel shame and guilt about, that actually supports us to expand into a different kind of receiving paradigm, because the things that we believe are forbidden, the desires that we don't think are accessible to us right now that we feel fearful of claiming, are actually the next evolution of self that's waiting to emerge from you.
So through engaging with identifying those desire edges, like, Who do I dare to be in this world? What do I dare to claim that I want in this world that is going to support the evolution of you, as the woman who holds her desired level of receiving with money, her desired level of growth in her business, because ultimately, the you that is holding 10, 20, 50, 70, 100, 300k per month, is a woman that is claiming a whole other level of her desire, a whole other level of her capacity to hold pleasure, right. And I've been doing this work for years, I've been doing desire based pleasure based work for years. And it has completely shifted my wealth identity. Right? I talked about wealth identity, and one of the other episodes that I recorded, and the pleasure edge and the desire edge are actually such a core part of the wealth identity work.
The more that we claim our desires, the more that we actually claim, our essence. And the essence of the woman who actually wants to come through us who is unapologetic about what she wants, who she is, and is able to hold all of herself all of her desires, allowing herself to access the things that now feel forbidden to you in some way. And like I've shared before, earlier in this episode, the things that I am claiming now the desires that I am claiming now, I couldn't even see a couple of years before this, right two or three years before this. I couldn't even see some of the things that I deeply desired because I was too afraid to even access them. But as I moved as I stepped into each kernel of desire, as I let myself experience each pleasure edge as I let myself have the thing that I truly wanted, even with the shame and guilt on board. The pleasure allowed me to work through the shame and guilt and allowed me to claim this version of self that has been wanting to emerge through me. Right. So whenever we're talking about expanding your receiving with money, growing and scaling your business, it is about who you are becoming through the process, right, the amount of money that you're holding the amount of clients that you're holding, is simply a representation of who you are allowing yourself to be who, how you are allowing yourself to claim your desires to claim yourself, and what you are allowing into your world in what way?
Claiming the desire edge, letting your self experience the pleasure edge is expanding your wealth identity, it's expanding your embodiment of that wealth identity. And it is allowing your nervous system through the experience of you allowing that pleasure in to calibrate itself. For you to hold more of what you truly desire. The more pleasure we can hold in our bodies, the more we can actually invite into our world, right? And the more that I'm holding inside of my business, the more clients the more money, the more I'm upping up my pleasure practices, right? Because it's allowing my nervous system to find harmony, right? It's allowing my nervous system to calibrate to this new receiving level that I am desiring for myself.
And most often, I actually step into the pleasure edge of where I am going, before I even hold it in the actual 3d, right, and the actual external world. Because my nervous system is getting ready to hold it. Right. It's so often the reason why I hire before I need to, because my pleasure as my desire, just telling me, I want to be supported at this level, at 50k, at 60k and 100k. And I'm going to need this entire team for this experience to feel easeful and peaceful in my nervous system. And so I'm hiring the team now, because I can feel that edge in my body have, oh, it's too early to hire Oh, should you hire Oh, should I even have this much support. But I feel the activation of it. And it's exactly the way that I calibrated to 50k months, is I hired the team before I needed it.
Same way with like other pleasure edge purchases or experiences, it was something that I told myself, I could only have when I hit the 100k or when I hit the, you know, 70 care, or whatever it was. And what my body was communicating to me was, you don't actually have to wait, you get to have it now, right? Because the experience is the feeling states that we want to experience that we want to have at the 80 or 100k are actually available to us now. And we don't have to restrict ourselves, we don't have to hold back, we get to have it.
So the desire and the pleasure edge is an invitation for you, to allow your nervous system to be able to create the space to hold what you want to receive in the 3d. And to do it now. Right to create the space now. You have the container, you have the vessel in your body that's ready for it. And that is the way that pathway gets created for the 3d external results to come into your reality. And so I really want to invite you into tuning to this in your body learning, where is my pleasure edge. And with any type of edges, what you're doing is you're noticing, do I feel excitement, and also just that little bit of fear and forbidden energy and my system? Because that is what tells you Oh, this is my pleasure edge. Oh, this is my desire edge. These are the things that I haven't felt safe to claim, but that I deeply desire to have that I deeply want to experience and really letting yourself actually sink into the sensory experience of pleasure. It's so important. It's not something you check off your to do list. It's not just self care. It is how much can I engage and receiving this experience and let it feel good. Because that is what increases your nervous system access to deepening and letting pleasure letting goodness feel safe in your body now, right. And so I want to invite you into that. And so following the kernels of your desire as you allow that to evolve your wealth identity as you allow that to actually unravel pull you into the woman that you are becoming.

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We are currently actively enrolling for our January 2023 cohort of Nectar. Nectar is my offering for entrepreneurs at any level (including multi-6 and 7-figure entrepreneurs) who wish to heal the receiving wound and expand their receiving paradigm to receive money from a place of ease and pleasure. Nectar is a beautiful 5-month healing portal with group healing and integration calls to integrate your healing with money into your business. This program interweaves somatic work, womb expansion, shadow work, quantum medicine, and energetic alchemy to shift how you receive in your business and life. Spots go fast for this program, so if you’re feeling the pull, I encourage you to register and step into the program now!

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